Within my relatively few years of life it has come to my attention that people take advantage of abilities that they find “normal”. Among these abilities, the means by which we take in external information from the world around us is especially given the cold shoulder and if you haven’t caught on yet I’m referring to our five senses: seeing, feeling, tasting, hearing, smelling. These are natural survival tools but can also be used for so much more if paid attention to and focused on especially our sense of seeing and hearing.

Nowadays it is a common desire to become the well-respected voice of reason amongst our peers and also have the answer for the question in every situation, it has become so desirable that people nowadays don’t even try to understand the problem at hand or the questions being presented before spewing out the generic and vague answers that they’ve learnt from people on social media who are experts in every field conceivable due to the amount of followers they have…but I digress.

Essentially what I’m saying is that people would rather talk than listen, which isn’t the best strategy for tackling life, the more you talk means the less you’ll listen then eventually the less you’ll know and people will always respect and seek the opinion of a person who is able to say everything that needs to be said about one thing rather than a person who has something to say about anything.

Being quiet and paying attention isn’t as dull as most would assume, it’s as if you’re listening to the same song but on a different wavelength, because you’re in the same environment but experiencing it differently. You’ll begin to notice that people have a lot in common when it comes to their mannerisms and eventually you’ll be able to tell the outcome of a conversation without being a part of it. After some time, you’ll be able to tell who exactly has your best interests at heart and who just wants you to service their agendas. One of the biggest advantages to be gained from paying attention among your peers is weeding out the snakes in the grass, the kind of people that probably talk badly about you behind your back but smile in front of you because you’ve seen them do it to other people, eventually you’ll  be able to predict how much you can trust someone due to past experiences with people who have similar mannerisms and patterns of dialogue because humans aren’t as different as we’d like to believe, finally when you get really good and paying attention you’ll be able to say exactly what you need to say to gain a person’s trust because essentially people just want to be understood and talk with a likeminded person.

So, the next time you’re in an argument take a moment to listen to what the person is saying, strip away any form of bias you have and actually listen to what the person is saying and follow their logic, don’t make assumptions but only rely on facts. Or the next time you’re with some paying attention to what they’re eager to talk about, what words the lay emphasis on and what topics they try to avoid with vague replies.

With all that’s been said this is just something I’ve noticed, I’m not a scientist and I haven’t given you the ultimate cheat code to life, there are probably still a lot of things that I haven’t take into consideration because it’d be too much stress and there’s also the fact that there exist exceptions to everything so there may be people don’t turn out to be who think they are which is why you should always give a person the benefit of the doubt.


Toyosi Azeez is a fashion entrepreneur and creative director of Weise. She started this blog in 2016. My style can be defined as being retro, simple and unique. This blog is me writing every and anything I think about. Welcome to my thoughts literally.


  1. Someone buy this guy a cold beer!!!!
    This is way too practical to be misleading!
    One of the things that stuck with me right from my days in secondary school is a statement made by one of my teachers. He said ‘ One major problem we have in the world today is that we’re all talking, and nobody is interested in listening’. Although contextually, he was trying to pass a different message across, his remarks just made me understand the need to pay attention, and observe thing and people more closely. Honestly half our problems will be solved if we all take out time to listen to the people around us. You don’t learn from talking, but every time you choose to listen to another person’s views on something rather than table your perspectives, you’re opening yourself up to opportunities to learn.
    This is a really timely piece. And I’m happy I read this.

  2. True .. This has made me understand people with their different point of views and personalities by just listening to what they have to say.. Really like this
    Glad someone can actually share this to the world… Good work b

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